ground stop

do things seem strange in the "past"? in that movie where the guys go back in time, their ears bleed and their handwriting gets worse...

there are several very noticable differences about "past" times. i have past in quotes because i can't really be sure that they are the actual past. it might look and feel like 1940; people might talk like they're from 1940, but how can i be sure it really is 1940? anyway, that's fodder for an entirely different discussion.

when i first used the machine, i took a very, very small sip of the crystal pepsi. probably about .25 ounces if i had to guess. subsequently, i didn't go very far back at all. about seven years, actually. to july 20, 1998, i realized upon further inspection.

the first thing you will notice is the green sky glow. during the day you don't see anything abnormal. the sky remains blue, birds fly, cats meow, all that good stuff. night is a different story. i was astonished when i emerged from an abandoned department store to find green stars and a lime haze tinting the night air. i was initially concerned that i'd jumped into the future by accident, and that rather freaked me out because it went completely against the plans and schematics. had i held the blueprints upside down?

i came to realize on subsequent travels that the green glow was constant. i can't explain it, of course. stars shine green and there's a green glow. that's all i can tell you. it happens in "past" times and it doesn't happen in our "normal" night. i couldn't exactly go around asking people why--if someone asked you why the stars shone the way they do, wouldn't you think they were batshit crazy?

over time i noticed other quirks of time travel that i will share in detail in future posts. most notably, besides the freaky green night, i was floored by the immediate physical feeling you get after transporting.

it's hard to describe. take the exhilaration you feel right after a near-collision in your car. you're fine but your heart is racing and the adrenaline is pumping. take the feeling you have hearing someone tell you they love you for the first time. take the feeling you get when you're in a quickly descending elevator and multiply it by 20. mix these feelings together and that is what you feel coursing through you for approximately 45 minutes after jumping into a different time.

it's a great feeling. it scared me at first. that night, i walked through a vast, empty parking lot and worried briefly that the crystal pepsi, as old as it was, had poisoned me. that i was still in 2005 and i was about to have a heart attack and that this is what death must feel like.

well, now i know i was kind of right. this is what death feels like, this is what life feels like, this is what being born feels like. i think the feeling is really just the essence of something much bigger than we can comprehend. it's sort of god's way of letting you know that you've gone beyond the daily routine; you've flexed the universe and its constraints and gone beyond. do i sound like a hippie yet?

one of my favorite experiences was in 1940. i was walking down a crowded sidewalk in downtown los angeles. it was around 5:30 in the afternoon, golden sunlight shining down on everyone in one of those shafts bursting forth from the clouds, like a ramp to heaven. i was walking along, big grin on my face, through all these crowds, feeling it. it was exhilarating. i wanted to laugh thinking about the absurdity of it all, being surrounded by so many people from the past and was it real, was it really happening? oh fuck it, i said. just enjoy the feeling and keep walking in the light.

some other small quirks i've noticed:

cigarettes are made of meat
dogs are waiters
90 foot tall andy griffith
incense replaced by lasers
scalding hot piss
delicious arby's sandwiches abound
national holiday where your dad sings INXS on live television, no matter what the year
beer is hot pink

okay so maybe i'm joshing. time travel will make you want to joke around a bit.